


reaching for the moon

by Gibli



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Human AU, Mentions of Death, Small Town Blues, discussion of suicide, post graduation life crisis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25521694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gibli/pseuds/Gibli
Summary: Lovino Vargas was an unexceptional student and an unexceptional employee. He lived an unexceptional life and worked an unexceptional job. Overall, in every aspect of the word, Lovino Vargas was unexceptional.He was sure that anybody who was asked would say so.It became even more clear to him that this was the case when his younger brother moved away to study art in college while Lovino was left behind in their hometown, working retail jobs and looking after their grandfather. This was his unexceptional life and nothing was going to change that. He was going to be stuck in that town forever.But when old nemeses make a reappearance in Lovino's life, he starts to think that maybe... maybe that could change.
Relationships: Austria/Prussia (Hetalia), South Italy/Spain (Hetalia)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	reaching for the moon

.

.

.

_ “Is there pity for the plain girl?” _

_ 6/10~Dodie Clark _

_. _

_. _

_. _

Lovino Vargas was an unexceptional student and an unexceptional employee. He lived an unexceptional life and worked an unexceptional job. Overall, in every aspect of the word, Lovino Vargas was unexceptional.   
  
He was sure that anybody who was asked would say so.   
  
Living an unexceptional life was not the worst thing in the world. He tried to remind himself every day of this fact. It was okay to be average. It was okay to have no talents. It was okay to have almost no friends, and it was okay for friends to move on to bigger and better things and leave him behind to continue his unexceptional life in a small town.

  
  
It could be worse.   
  


  
  
  


  
Hell, it could be a  _ lot _ worse, so why couldn’t he just be happy with what he had? Why was he miserable all the time? Why couldn’t he smile more? Why was he acting so  _ ungrateful, _ so  _ selfish _ , so...so…   
  
He rubbed his eyes as he tried to think of another adjective to describe himself before softly leaning his forehead on the steering wheel of his car.   
  
It wasn’t unusual for Lovino to be overwhelmed with these thoughts before going to work, but they seemed particularly overwhelming that morning. Maybe it was the gray and damp autumn weather. Maybe it was the fact that he had gotten almost no sleep the night before.   
  
Not that these feelings mattered, Lovino thought as he started his car and pulled out of the driveway. He just had to push them aside and try to forget about them by the time he got to his unexceptional job.   
  
It was 6 in the morning.   
  
He just needed some coffee.

.oOo.

Coffee was always Lovino’s best friend and worst enemy. It brought him warmth and energy and a small drop of happiness with each sip. He savored the smell and different tastes. Espressos, lattes, cappuccinos- he loved them all. Sure, he had black coffee sometimes, but there was something to say about the artistry of different blends and creations.   
  
He tried his hand at latte art once. It didn’t end well.   
  
That was where his love for coffee ended. While he loved sitting down to slowly enjoy the drink or even chugging it as he ran off to work or to class, he absolutely loathed making it.   
  
Working at Starbucks has that effect on people.   
  
It was strange- this dichotomy of emotions Lovino experienced once he stepped into the store and smelled the brewing coffee. Every single time he took his first breath inside the door of the building, he was filled with both comfort and anxiety. Yes, he was surrounded by his favorite drink, but the scent promised a day full of cranky businessmen and soccer moms. Neither of which Lovino particularly enjoyed engaging with.   
  
However, they weren’t the worst people to walk into the store.   
  
_ He _ was.   
  
Francis Bonnefoy.   
  
Francis Bonnefoy went to the same high school as Lovino and was two years his senior. In high school, Francis made his life hell through constant teasing and pranks. He and his friend Gilbert had rightfully earned the title of class clowns and class flirts which put them on the top of everybody’s popularity polls. They were portrayed as gods by their underclassmen and they took that fact and abused it. While Lovino would get upset and shout whenever Francis stole his books and held them out of reach, or when Gilbert would make fun of the fact that Lovino would turn beet red every time Francis did so, his classmates would scold  _ him _ , Lovino, for taking things too seriously and ruining the fun.

And now this asshole had the audacity to walk into his store, grinning widely, greeting Lovino like he was an old friend.   
  
“ _ Bonjour,  _ Lovino,  _ mon chou! _ ” Lovino wanted to strangle him. “Now don’t you go giving me that cute little frown of yours. It’s a beautiful day! You should smile more!”   
  
“Fuck off.”   
  
“Ah, you wound me” Francis sighed as he dramatically brought his hand to his heart. It was only when he did so that Lovino noticed the man who walked in with Francis. He had curly brown hair and bright eyes, and while he chuckled at Francis antics, Lovino noticed the dimples on his cheeks. When the stranger’s eyes moved away from Francis and caught Lovino staring at him, he smiled.   
  
Lovino’s frown only deepened as he turned his attention back to Francis. “So are you going to order something or did you come here just to piss me off?”   
  
“Now, now. If you keep talking like that you’ll make me think that you don’t love visits from yours truly.”   
  
“I don’t.”   
  
“Ah, he kids.” Francis turned his attention away from Lovino and back to his partner. “Lovino and I go way back. We went to high school together. He may seem a little fiery but he’s actually a sweetheart once you get to know him.”   
  
Lovino could feel his neck growing warm as Francis continued to talk. There was just a way that Francis said “sweetheart” that made it sound so demeaning and infantilising that Lovino wanted to crawl under the counter and never come back out. Instead, he crossed his arms and pressed his lips together, physically restraining himself from lashing out at Francis while at work. The slew of insults and curses he was listing in his head, however, was disrupted when he realized the dimpled stranger had held his hand out towards him.   
  
“Well it’s nice to meet you, Lovino! I’m Antonio.”   
  
Lovino’s eyes widened slightly as Antonio spoke- his voice was accented and bright and his eyes shone with equal splendor. When he noticed that Lovino wasn’t going to shake his hand, he pulled it back, unphased and still smiling. God, what was he smiling so much for? Didn’t his cheeks hurt? 

Francis continued to talk but now Lovino’s attention was stuck on Antonio. There’s no way he was from around here. He would have remembered him. Antonio was new. Antonio was unknown. Antonio was exciting. Sure, he was just a person, and he was friends with  _ Francis _ of all people, but to Lovino, Antonio held a world of possibilities.    
  
Eventually, Lovino was pulled out of his trance just long enough to ring up Francis’s order while Antonio went to sit down. However, even while making the drinks, his eyes kept wandering over to where Antonio sat, typing away on his phone. He chuckled at his screen. Lovino wondered what he saw.    
  
“I see you are just as entranced as I am. He  _ is _ beautiful, no?” Francis leaned against the counter as he unapologetically stared at Antonio.   
  
“No.” Lovino tore his eyes away from Antonio before almost slamming Francis’s drinks on the counter next to him. “How do you even know him, anyway? Where’s he from?”   
  
“Barcelona. But he’s spent the last 4 years in New York. Isn’t that  _ exciting _ ?”   
  
It was. “No.” He had to know more. “If he’s from Barcelona and New York, how the hell do you know him?”   
  
Francis hummed to himself before lifting his drink and taking a sip. “We live in such a beautiful world at the most amazing time in history, Lovino.” Well that was debatable. “Strangers everywhere, though so far in distance and from different walks in life, are able to connect in an instant, and upon meeting, share an unforgettable bond even if it’s just for a night. Because for that night, we are able to share intimacy of hearts and mind”   
  
“Please don’t tell me that’s your romantic ass way of describing Tinder.”   
  
Francis merely shrugged and took another sip of his drink while Lovino snorted. Of course. “You haven’t changed at all since high school.”

With Lovino’s words, Francis was silent as he took another long sip of his drink. For some reason, Lovino felt like he said something wrong, but he couldn’t figure out what. He opened his mouth, wanting to, for once, break the awkward silence, but then Francis turned his head back to him, his lips quirked up, just barely, in a smile.    
  
“Why change perfection?”

.oOo.

In just a few hours, Lovino had moved on from his conversation with Francis. He finished his shift, clocked out, grabbed lunch, and drove to his second job of the day. Arriving early, he decided to sit back in his car in the parking lot.   
  
He took a moment to close his eyes and let his mind wander. It ignored thoughts about work and stress, and moved on to subjects much more interesting- like what it would be like to march inside and quit in a grand dramatic fashion. Or what it would be like to embarass Francis in front of his new friend to show him what it was like for Lovino in high school. He had a whole argument in his head about what he could say, and it went something like this:

_ Francis: It’s so cute how upset Lovino can get about some jokes. _

_ Lovino: It’s so cute how you think you’re jokes are so fucking funny. _

_ Francis: I guess that you just don’t understand my humor. _

_ Lovino: No, I fucking “get it”. I’m just smart enough to know that making fun of other people is a cheap shot to make someone laugh and make yourself seem cool. But guess what? We’re not in high school any more and your cheap humor is nothing but embarrassing. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Francis: Calm down- there’s no need to raise your voice. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Lovino: Yes there is! Because nobody has ever raised their voice at you and you need to be shown that your actions aren’t okay! I shouldn’t have to be the one to teach you at age 24 that bullying in any form is not okay! It doesn’t make you cool. You’re still some washed up high school celebrity who didn’t have enough talent to do anything with their life to get out of this shit hole of a town. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Francis: You’re stuck in the same town as me! _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Lovino: Yeah but at least I-! _

Lovino was startled back into reality when his phone started ringing. A photo of his brother appeared on the screen, waiting for him to accept his Facetime call. Lovino sighed and released the tension he didn’t realize he was holding in his shoulders and answered with a warm, welcoming, “What do you want.”   
  
Feliciano wasn’t even looking at his phone when Lovino answered him. He was glancing to the side, talking to somebody off camera. It looked like he was on a walk outside. When he heard Lovino answer, he finally pulled his attention back to the call and smiled brightly, ignoring Lovino’s tone. “Loviii, why do you always assume I want something?”   
  
“Because you always want something.”   
  
“Nuh uh!”   
  
“Uh, yeah huh,” Lovino mocked him before rolling his eyes.    
  
“Maybe I just like talking to you and wanted to check in to see how you were doing. Maybe I just wanted to say how much I miss you and love you!”   
  
Lovino sighed to himself. This conversation was  _ definitely _ leading up to his brother asking him for a favor, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that hearing him say that he loved and missed Lovino made him feel a little better. After all, he loved and missed his little brother as well. Ever since Feliciano moved into his dorm at school, the house was much too quiet.   
  
“Feli, I’m about to go into work. You have 10 seconds to ask me whatever it is you were going to ask me.”   
  
Feliciano glanced at whoever was next to him for a second. He heard a soft “Go on” from the stranger before Feliciano blurted out, “Can you give me and my friends a ride to a concert tomorrow?”   
  
“Are you fucking serious.”   
  
“It’s not that far away!”   
  
“Your school is already an hour away!”   
  
“And it only takes like 20 minutes to drive there from my dorm!”   
  
“No.”   
  
“Please?”   
  
“No way.”   
  
“ _ Please? _ ”   
  
“Do none of your friends have a car?”   
  
“No…Please Lovi, I’ll owe you one. I’ll do anything you want!”   
  
“Anything?”   
  
“Anything!”   
  
“Oh, well in that case- no.”   
  
“You’re so mean to me!”   
  
“It’s my job.”   
  
“Come on, Lovi. Please? Please please please please please please-”   
  
“Oh my god, shut  _ up! _ Fine!”   
  
“You’ll do it?”   
  
“Yeah, I’ll do it.”   
  
“Yay! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re the best! I love you!”   
  
“Yeah, yeah. I love you too-”   
  
Lovino didn’t even finish his sentence before Feliciano ended the call. Realizing this, he leaned forward with a groan and repeatedly hit his forehead on the steering wheel. Of course this happened. Of-fucking-course he couldn’t  _ actually _ say no to Feliciano. To be fair though, who could? His brother just seemed to be the type of person that could make anybody do anything just by smiling and batting his eyelashes.    
  
But despite how annoyed and frustrated Lovino was with the fact, those feelings were overshadowed by pure, strong jealousy. It made him feel nauseous. There his brother was, off at school, studying his passions, having adventures with his friends and going to concerts, and here Lovino was.   
  
In a Walmart parking lot.   
  
Officially late for his shift.

.oOo.

Lovino waited parked outside Feliciano’s dorm building, tapping his fingers on his knee impatiently. He had texted Feliciano five minutes ago that he was parked outside, and Feli had yet to respond. He sighed and decided to stare out his windshield at the students walking around on campus.

He couldn’t help the pit of jealousy that formed in his stomach as he watched students gather and talk as they formed study groups or ultimate frisbee games, and he wondered briefly if Feli has ever participated in one. Probably not. He wasn’t the most athletic person, and he doubted that art students ever started one of those games.

He would though. If Lovino was a student, he would start one of those games. He’d be damned good at it too. Or maybe it wouldn’t be ultimate frisbee. Maybe he’d join an intramural soccer team. He’d join with a handful of other students and they could pick their own team name and get together and play in between studying and classes, and-

Lovino squeezed his eyes shut and smacked his cheeks a couple of times to distract himself. There was no point in indulging in these thoughts. He wasn’t a student. He couldn’t be a student- not any time soon at least. Somebody had to stay home and take care of Grandpa. And there was no way their family could have more than one person going to school any way. Feli was lucky enough to get a scholarship for the art program here and that was the only reason he was able to go. Lovino didn’t get any scholarships. It was pointless.

He jumped when he heard a tap on his window, and opening his eyes he saw Feliciano smiling at him and motioning for him to unlock the doors. He did so and Feliciano clambered into the front seat while two of his friends clambered into the back.

“Fucking took you long enough,” Lovino greeted them as he started the car.

“Sorry!” Feliciano buckled his seatbelt and reached for the radio. Lovino smacked his hand away. “I couldn’t find my other shoe and we were looking all around for it! I really don’t know why I only had one shoe in my closet but then Ludwig found it in the bathroom- isn’t that funny? I have no idea why it was in there!”

“Yeah. Hilarious.”

“Oh! Lovi, these are my friends- Ludwig and Kiku. Ludwig and Kiku- this is my brother Lovino!”

Lovino glanced briefly at the rearview mirror to see Ludwig nod towards him and Kiku give him a polite smile.

“Thank you very much for coming out of your way to drive us to this concert,” Kiku spoke up. “I understand that you live quite a distance away.”

“That’s why he’s the best brother in the world!” Feliciano interrupted before Lovino could respond. “Right, Lovi?”

“Yeah Whatever.” Lovino glanced back up at the mirror again to see Ludwig. “Hey, aren’t you Gilbert Beilschmidt’s brother?”

Ludwig looked a little shocked that Lovino was speaking to him, but nodded. “Yes. You were friends with him in high school, right?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

There was a silence, as if everyone was expecting Lovino to elaborate, but he never did. Realizing he wouldn’t, Feliciano happily took over the conversation, talking with his friends about the band.

Feliciano’s chatter eventually became whitenoise in Lovino’s mind as he put all of his focus into driving. The radio was on low volume but Lovino still taped the rhythm of the songs on his steering wheel as he drove. Feliciano was right- the venue wasn’t very far away from te dorm, but it still took a while to et there when they finally hit traffic.

  
  
  


Of course they were stuck on a bridge.

It was a smaller bridge made to travel across the river and over the state line, and it normally would have only taken seconds to cross, but it seemed like half the student population was going to this concert, causing bumper to bumper traffic. They were almost at a stand still. Lovino couldn’t hold his breath for much longer.

Lovino wasn’t sure when exactly he started making it a habit to hold his breath on bridges. He and Feliciano used to make it a game. Sometimes, even their grandfather would join in, puffing out his cheeks, pretending to hold his breath while breathing through his nose. It tricked the two of them for the longest time.

Glancing over at Feliciano, Lovino noticed that Feli wasn’t holding his breath at all. In fact, he was bent at an awkward angle as he tried to turn around and face his friends as he talked to them. Lovino slowly let out his breath through his nose. Fine.

Traffic started moving.

.oOo.

“Thank you so much for driving us Lovi!”

Lovino had parked a couple blocks away from the venue. He wasn’t going to stay so there was no point in making his way to the assigned parking lot. He watched as Kiku and Ludwig clamored out of the back seat and Feli stuck his head through the doorway to smile brightly at him. Instead of a “You’re welcome”, Lovino huffed and started his car again. “Yeah, well, nobody can say no to you, can they?”

Lovino regretted the words as soon as they left his lips as he watched the spasm of hurt cross Feliciano’s face. “What does that mean?” he asked.

“Nothing, I-” Lovino raced to come up with an excuse or an apology, but instead he just shook his head. “What time do you need me to pick you up?”

Feliciano took a step back from the car. “You don’t need to worry. We’ll just take an Uber back or something.”

“Oh.” Lovino almost asked why they didn’t just take an Uber there in the first place but stopped himself. “Okay then.”

Then with a final wave and a couple more thanks from the group, Feliciano and his friends left. Lovino turned up his music.


End file.
